ENDLESS LOVE
Fil.2:1-4
Endless love berarti Cinta yang tidak dibatasi oleh waktu, materi, atau apapun juga. Ini cinta yang utuh dan tidak bisa dibagi-bagi. Cinta antara satu pria dengan satu wanita dan sebaliknya satu wanita dengan satu pria!
Cinta/kasih adalah sesuatu yang sangat popular dalam dunia kita ini. Amazon.com mencatat bahwa buku-buku yang bertemakan tentang cinta ternyata mengungguli tema-tema lainnya :
2.652 buku bertemakan tentang “surga”.
10.304 buku bertemakan tentang uang.
16.765 buku bertemakan tentang “Sex,”
18.818 bertemakan tentang “Tuhan”
30.066 buku bertemakan tentang cinta.
Nah, cinta atau kasih itu dalam bahasa Yunani ternyata ada beberapa jenis :
(a) Eros
Eros adalah cinta birahi. Cinta antara seorang laki-laki kepada seorang perempuan. Atau sebaliknya. Eros sangat berorientasi pada cinta erotis (kata ini berasal dari eros)
(b) Phileo
Cinta pertemanan atau persahabatan. Cinta antara dua orang sahabat yang saling mendukung.
(c) Storge
Cinta kekeluargaan. Cinta antara orang tua dengan anak dan sebaliknya.
(d) Agape
Cinta yang universal dan tanpa pamrih/tanpa syarat. Cinta Tuhan kepada manusia. Mencintai, meskipun...(meskipun yang dicintai jelek,nakal, kacau,tidak nurut dsb).
Catatan : dalam pernikahan kita memerlukan ke empat jenis cinta di atas (eros, phileo, storge, agape). Kalau ke empatnya ada dalam hidup pernikahan kita, maka pernikahan akan langgeng dan indah!
Kasih Agape sebagai bentuk kasih yang tertinggi sangat mendominasi PB. Dalam seluruh PB kata Agape digunakan 137 kali sebagai kata kerja, dan 116 kali sebagai kata benda.
MEMPERTAHANKAN CINTA TANPA AKHIR (ENDLESS LOVE)
Cinta akan tumbuh dan berkembang tanpa mengenal akhir kalau kedua pasangan menerapkan prinsip SALING!
1. Saling mendukung – Fil2:1a
Manusia dimanapun selalu membutuhkan dukungan dan dorongan.
Orang akan menjadi maju kalau ia didukung dan didorong oleh orang yang dicintainya! Contoh :
(a) Suami akan maju kariernya kalau ada istri yang mendukung sepenuh hati – menarik untuk diamati bagaimana istri antasari Anshar dan Wiliardi selalu menemani suaminya saat sidang maupun saat divonis (ini merupakan sebuah dukungan hebat, terlepas suaminya jahat atau tidak)
(b) Ada penelitian tentang ketahanan manusia berdiri di atas balok es. Orang yang diberi support/ dukungan ternyata berhasil berdiri 2 kali lebih lama dibandingkan yang tidak diberi dukungan!
(c) Tim sepakbola yang main di kandang (ada suporternya) ternyata 80-90% memenangkan pertandingan.
Seorang bijak berkata :” Manusia tidak hanya membutuhkan roti untuk hidup, tetapi juga membutuhkan pujian (dorongan/dukungan)!”
Hans Christian Andersen (penulis cerita anak-anak terkenal) pernah berkata : ”Cemoohan membuat kita jadi dungu, tapi pujian membuat kita jadi maju.”
Pertanyaan renungan yang patut diajukan adalah : ”kapan anda terakhir kali memberikan dukungan/pujian bagi pasangan anda ?
2. Saling menghibur – Gal.6:2
Hidup ini penuh suka-duka, senang-gembira, naik-turun, sukses-gagal,dan seterusnya. Nah, disaat-saat kita sedang terpuruk (gagal, susah, turun dst) kita membutuhkan pasangan kita untuk memberi penghiburan.
Penghiburan ini nampaknya sederhana, namun dampaknya sangat luar biasa. Coba kita lihat fakta berikut ini :
(a) Pusat-pusat konseling selalu disibukkan dengan banyaknya klien yang minta dukungan doa (ini salah bentuk dari penghiburan)
(b) Ketika kita sedih, akan terasa nyaman kalau ada seseorang yang memberikan bahunya untuk kita bersandar!
(c) Ketika ada orang yang bersedia mendengar keluh kesah atau kesedihan kita, maka beban hidup kita berkurang separo (diambil oleh yang mendengar tadi)
Nah, suami istri harus bersedia memberi :
(1) Tangan – untuk membantu pasangan memecahkan kesulitannya
(2) Telinga – untuk mendengarkan kesedihan pasangan
(3) Bahu – untuk tempat bersandar bagi pasangan kita!
3. Saling bersekutu (menghabiskan waktu bersama) –Mrk.10:8
Yang dimaksud bersekutu disini bukan hanya berdoa bersama, tapi lebih mengarah kepada menghabiskan waktu bersama! Persekutuan (ikatan hidup) adalah esensi (intisari) dari pernikahan.
Kalau tidak ada persekutuan, maka itu bukan pernikahan, itu hanya kumpul kebo (tinggal bersama saja). Nah, persekutuan membutuhkan satu hal : WAKTU!
Tidak ada persekutuan tanpa adanya kesediaan untuk menghabiskan waktu bersama-sama!
Lalu, bagaimana menghabiskan waktu yang berkualitas bersama pasangan ? Berikut ini sejumlah contoh :
(a) Bercanda bersama – ini nampaknya sepele tapi efeknya luar biasa dahsyat.
Penelitian menunjukkan pernikahan yang kuat adalah pernikahan dimana pasangan suami - istri suka ngobrol hal-hal yang sepele, tapi sering!
(b) Makan bersama – ini lebih baik lagi kalau mengikut sertakan anak-anak
Penelitian menunjukkan bahwa makan bersama bisa mempererat hubungan antar anggota keluarga dan memperdalam komunikasi!
(c) Berlibur bersama – Liburan bersama amat dibutuhkan untuk membangun kebersamaan antar anggota keluarga.
Intinya : Persekutuan membutuhkan WAKTU untuk bersama-sama. Tanpa waktu untuk bersama-sama persekutuan tidak akan kuat!
4. Saling bersikap lembut – Ef.4:2
Apa yang dimaksd dengan ”lembut” ? Ini bukan sikap lemah gemulai seperti orang Jawa, tetapi lebih merupakan sikap hati yang penuh pengertian dan kesabaran terhadap orang lain!
Kita sering tidak bisa memahami pasangan kita dan akhirnya kita bertindak kasar! Misalnya:
(a) Memaki – ingat, makian akan menimbulkan kepahitan dalam hati orang yang kita maki
(b) Membentak – ingat, bentakan akan menimbulkan ketakutan pada diri orang yang kita bentak, sehingga akhirnya hubungan menjadi berjarak!
(c) Menempeleng – ingat, istri/pasangan kita bukan sansak hidup untuk latihan tinju!
Orang yang lembut, sekalipun dalam keadaan marah tidak akan menggunakan kata-kata yang kasar dan tindakan yang sadis. Dia bisa marah tapi sikapnya tetap terjaga sehingga tidak melukai hati yang dimarahinya! Inilah artinya kelembutan itu.
Orang yang lembut berarti memiliki hati yang lembut dan penuh kasih!
5. Saling menerima – Rm.15:7
Sudah menjadi sifat manusia untuk mau menerima yang baik, tapi menolak yang jelek!
Nah, sifat ini harus dijauhkan dalam pernikahan. Kita harus bisa menerima keadaan pasangan kita apa adanya! Masalahnya adalah : ketika sedang jatuh cinta, kita melihat apa yang ada dalam diri pasangan kita sebagai sesuatu yang indah. Tapi setelah menikah beberapa tahun, mulailah nampak banyak hal ”tidak indah” dalam diri pasangan kita.
Untuk bisa saling menerima ada beberapa saran.
Saran untuk suami :
(a) Terimalah keadaan istri anda apa adanya – meskipun badannya mulai melar!
(b) Terimalah istri anda apa adanya, meskipun lama-lama ketahuan ia sangat cerewet (bawel)
(c) Terimalah istri anda apa adanya, meskipun akhirnya ketahuan ia tidak bisa masak dsb.
Saran untuk istri :
(1) Terimalah suami anda apa adanya, meskipun semakin lama rambutnya semakin tipis (botak)
(2) Terimalah suami anda apa adanya meskipun sekarang kariernya sudah mulai meredup
(3) Terimalah suami anda apa adanya, meskipun sekarang sudah tidak seromantis semasa pacaran!
Ketika kita saling menerima (kelebihan + kekurangan) pasangan kita, maka hubungan yang harmonis akan terjaga. Kita tidak menuntut pasangan kita dan kita tidak dituntut oleh mereka!
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Wah artikel tentang cinta
Sat, 27/06/2015 - 16:34 — nonaholicWah artikel tentang cinta yang sangat menarik sekali, dijabarkan dengan sangat jelas poin per poin! Saya ingin bertanya, apakah cinta sesama jenis (seperti wanita ke wanita atau pria ke pria) bisa dikategorikan juga sebagai "Eros"? Kalau bukan, lalu termasuk ke kategori apa?
Thanks.
Regards,
Nonic
http://nonaholic.com
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